:Saturday, March 05, 2005:
feeling:siannnnn.....
Wat course to choose?! aiya.. dun care la.. extended.. the stupid JIS system lag like siaoooo..
Haa! repaired my crossbow... I hope its combat-worthy...
*rubbing my hands with glee..* loaded an arrow.. waiting to fire....
wow.. is this bow just good or is it my shooting skills?
Now which shuaige's IC is that.... hmmm...
more brochures.... -,-" 1*beep*2 aiya... ask my mum's fren la (he's a senior lecturer..)
next day.... went to sch... sian.. supposed to go laser quest and bowling de.. but siannn.. dono wat happen.. wahh.. Mr leow and Mr ng tan qing shuo ai....
settled down for some food...
nianci.....dono wat to say... she's flirting.................. -,-"
lee hao.... I played badminton wif him awhile... then....
came to eat again... hungry la... hmm.. now as I type this.. i'm still hungry.. -,-"
sian la.. nth to do.. well, yaojun asked me whether wannna go sentosa for F2 outing.. dono lehh. dono whether wanna go anot.. Even if go, I scared later go there sian.... then ask my mum, but she bz... dono leh.. dono wanna go anot... haixx... sadded..
lydia's jus got her jaw op.. hmm. the two tubes sound rather disgusting.. but anyway, I guess i'll like to go down visit her sometime.. anyone else wanna follow me?
Sighs.. the government is screwed.. screws me with screwy things like the JIS.. tis so user-unfriendly.. Anyway, i'm just afraid.. just a lil' apprehensive, because going to poly is partially a gamble for me. "A diploma is just a stepping stone," like my friend said.. I can't really get far with a diploma.. So my best bet is to be able to go U.. Hopefully I go to the correct courses.. hopefully general mechanics opens me up and shows me exactly what I wanna do..
Well, staying in JC wasn't very much my kidna thing too.. Like KW, my chinese sux. Well, the very fact that i could bring it up from a single digit score to a c5 was miraculous already. I have to attribute it to God's grace. But in the recent times, God had moved my heart to choose a poly education over JC education. i felt really hesitant about clicking the 'submit' button. I guess just have to leave it to God..
Well, like my new addition? Uchiha Itachi.. hahaa.. he's waaayyy cooler than his lil' brother, Sasuke.. even tho Sasuke's the coolest so far.. heeee... Well, i'm getting lazy.. I originally wanted to make a new blog skin with this.. but I dono lehh... See how lo.. got time i'll do one by myself.. :)
:Thursday, March 03, 2005:
haha.. got some shuaige pics later..
--WARNING!!--
if you are afraid the shuaige pics are too shuai and might make you faint, don't see.. =P
raining like siao.. somehow, I like raining mornings... :P
went to sch nothing to do.. pon math lecture.. Soh hua came and we went up to cafe to scare her.... lly playing wif his hp..ahahaa.. in the end we played badminton (wif SQ) a lil' while, then LLY went to sim lim and SQ came to my house... we were waiting for Jun tat........ waiting........
meow!
taught SQ how to rollerblade.. well, rather, he learnt the basics... okok.. I was trying to teach him... I really wonder how much really got in :P well, Jun tat.. nxt time hv time come over rollerblade wif me la.... :P
shunquan: pant pant....almost........ 
Haiya.... let the pro come la...... cool sunglasses :)
(man.. who's that shuaige who's so pro??)
oh boy... the pro's doing his crossovers!!! oh boy...!!!! pro pro!!!!
oh man.. just too pro liao... (qian bian right? heeee)
aiya.. cheh.. this one.. who oso can do.. but the pro did it.. :)
Hiiiyyyoooosshhh!!
Played CS with SQ until Juntat came... then when juntat came, we played CS... with pumping...Ended up, SQ and Juntat had to do quite alot of pushups.. then in the end, they increased to 5 pushups for every frag less than the quota.. then I one round I kena killed by accident... 25 pushups :'( haha.... well had a fun time doing that with them... I guess i'll really miss themm..
Well, i'm still considering between EEE, Mechanical engineering and aerospace.... sighs... I have till tml.. Hey tml got laserquest and bowling at Cdans right? who's going? ehhh?
:Wednesday, March 02, 2005:
siannnn...
only a few ppl come to sch today.. see the J1 population? haixx. siannnn..... all the chiobu nv come...
slacked whole day at cafe.. you can tell how bored I was....
Jenrene and her powderpuff towel... -,-" so big liao still powerpuff gals..... haixx..
yumm.. choclate eclair and hot chocolate.. you don't know how hard i'm trying to get fat.........
went to play badminton for awhile.. then everyone oen by one go home... hx and jen go home.. alvin and henry shadow.. haix.x. siannnnnnnnnn...... nth to do.. go hm lo.... 
this sux la.. can't use net until 8:00 pm.. altho I did play CS a lil while...
long time to 8:00............ so,
hot day: check!
wrist guards:check
keys:check!
sunglasses:check!
Haa!! rollerblades... check...!!! lets rock n roll!!!
came back nothing to do... so how? listen to music lo.. until I sleep.. haha...
haha... keene sure has a hobby....of watching ppl's nicks.. hahaa..
well, so sian.... Sometiems I really feel so lovesick.. Wishing for someone that I can like.. who can like me back.... now leaving JJ.....i'll be leaving her behind... I don't know.. mebbe i'll never get to talk to her again...
well, perhaps i'll jus keep the whole OG guessing who she is.. but i've changed my target liao.... I'm trying to forget her.... haha.. keep guessing guessing guessing guessing..................
Nah.. why should I be so.. .stubborn and impatient..? why opt for second best when God can give me best with patience?... a lot to think about.. a lot to reflect...
I still haven't committed my decision to GOd yet.. can't procrastinate much longer... tomorrow JT and SQ are coming over to register liao.. should I register with them? haaaaa........tough decisions.....
:Tuesday, March 01, 2005:
haaa!!!!!
went out in the morning to eat wif lishi and Co. with Isaac and karwoon.. Well, here's the remains of Isaac's meal.. he was hoping to get 11.. but he got 13.. hahaa!!
then went to sch... wahh.. so many slippers.. 3 for 10 lollar...! 3 for 10 lollar! (ycs so good.. let us wear anything we want to go back and collect results.. hahaa)
rishil.. gonna miss ppl like him and the rest of our class to bits...!!!
Totto chan! what happened to your cloud hairstyle? oh? you wanna become reno instead? but why not cloud? cloud's cool.. Oh I see.. its his oversized sword that you're not happy with huh? haha..
this school will be firmly etched in my memory forever.. Reminds me of hte story of tott-chan(tetsuko kuroyanagi)... and her school. well, i'll really miss the time i spent here..
used MRT lift for the first time... and probably the last time with the 'CS gang' in YCS....
Totto-Chan's new shoes.. designer shoes.. you know, it once was called 'school shoes' oooooo..!
Went on the MRT... was playing wif Zw's hp... one very fun mosquito game.. hahaa...
Travelled to Somerset.. then we realised that its 4.30 liao.. ZW and I had to leave early.. so we played CS for only one hour.. was raining like siao...
ran to cineleisure in the rain.... all wet like hell.. esp me.. woah!!!
Played CS there... I was one of the bottom fraggers.. long time nv play liao.. but satisfied la.. I caught Totto-Chan off guard 8 times.. ahahaa.. I only managed to kill him once before.. haha..
Had a faceoff with Totto-Chan on knife... was so damn hillarious.. I kept picking up guns by accident, then he will go like 'hey!!!' then i'll drop it and pick up another by accident (cuz i'm walking backward mah.. while trying to escape from him)
When I finally faced off wif him, he killed me wif one blow (-,-")well, guess i'm gonna miss playing CS wif him...
walked wif Zw to orchard road.. and I was like, "ohh.. so that's where taka is.... " (suaku huh?)
Well, what you all have been waiting for...... My results.. hahaa.. I got L1R5 of 13 and L1R4 of 9.... cool.. Not too bad.. altho ppl like huixian and yaojun really suan me bcoz they got 8... -,-" siao liao.....
wat the heck la.. i'm eligible for ALL POLY COURSES!! YEAHHHH!! (thats what matters, doesnt it?)
Well, I'll really miss you guys in YCS.... YCS rocks.. well, it'll be firmly etched in my memory.. forever...
Well, din have time to say anything about my personal views.... i'll be cut off from the net in 10 mins...perhaps I will tml...
:Monday, February 28, 2005:
feeling:resentful....
Sorry this one has no pix... Its bcoz of my dad so there's no pix...
Now, net access time has become even more precious... my dad just restricted it to evenings only... wat the hell... well, I guess this means that i'll never ever get to see her (the girl I like in JJ) ever again, whether in person or online... since i'm leaving JJC... well, she only comes online in the afternoons of sat and sun... and now since i'm only allowed access in hte evening, I'll never get to see her at all...
damn.. he's been restricting me a lot.. I hated my dad since I was a kid.. Since i was a kid, everything I asked him, he'll only take his job as a pretext, and totally ignore me. He never spent quality time with me ever. Never. My mum asked him to teach me badminton, he taught me less than just the mere basics. Damn. Never spent quality time with him ever before. Sometimes, i just get so bitter, because in the house, you see him with two different faces. When he turns to face me, it would be a dark, cloudy face, or at best just a nonchalant face. when he turns to face my brother, more often than not, it becomes a smile instead. Perhaps sometimes that's why I hate my brother so much... the parental bias...
well, I don't know what I did, but he claims i messed up his computer when I was a kid... Every time ever since that chance he gave me to play computer games, he would chide me for it. I never got to play computer games ever again. until perhaps, he got me a computer.... a 486 computer when I was P5. damn... other people were using computers like pentium 2 or 3 already... I was still at a laggy stupid 486. and only educational games were allowed.. sad life, huh? THat time when I was still a kid, I asked him to let me play computer games for awhile. Simple games at that time totally intrigued me. prince of persia 1, or perhaps the simple windows games like bang bang.. I suppose some of you remember it... But I was just harmlessly playing that game till dinner time. then during dinner he claims I messed up his com.. what crap. AT that time, as a child, i was totally freaked out about it. ever since then, each time I asked him to let me play, he would either only give me the cold shoulder or chide me about that incident. but everytime, I get to see my brother play! and sometimes, he gets to play without even asking!!!
do you get pissed of how sometimes your parents compare you to people you don't even know? their colleagues' kids? I got even more pissed. There was ONCE i beat one of his colleagues kids in a math test (but we took different tests you see.. that kid was from nanyang pri.. then he compared results again, and at that time, I had 90 plus in pri 1-3) so he gave me this small cute pocket FM/AM receiver. I was so delighted... so.... elated. well, once you give something to someone, you can't take it away right? guess what? he took it away the next test because that nanyang kid beat me.. damn.... I was from pei hwa primary at that time.. well, (haha.. reminiscent from the ycs debate...) there you see.. the evils of competition. I was totally crushed from there on. Since I was a kid, I was taught by my mum how to live a dignified life. How to behave gentlemanly, how to behave like someone with brains and class. But totally, tht was destroyed by my father. Having been proven by him to be mentally inferior, I believed that I was the bottom class of society. DAmn. you can say that I owe today to him. He destroyed me. I got where I am today (and not into some boys home) because of sheer grit, sheer determination... and I guess God's love too.
Well, recently,my dad got me a palm. I thout... i thought.. I presumed that he was trying... trying to improve the relationship between us. damn. I realised actually he was giving me that as something to threaten me against should I get poor results from O lvls. damn. well tomorrow is hte result release. we shall see. If I get totally good results, I intend to ignore him the whole day. my mum only suggested that he show me love by providing more monetary support... ok.. i must admit, i'm thankful for the palm. It caused so much conveniences.
Well, since then, I was trying.. trying too to improve the situation. Trying to get him to understand me. but no. he wasn't trying at all. All went back to square one.
Well, at that time, while playing CS in sgXplorer, I met a guy who was 40+ playing CS. I realised he's a dad and he's playing to understand his son better. My hat off to him. If only he's my dad...
My dad never attempted to understand me. Let me tell you the first attempt at which he tried to spend quality time with me. Most parents seize the chance of adolescence to spend quality time with their children, because when they reach their teenage years, their children tend to want to spend time with their friends instead. Well, my dad never spent quailty time with me, never brought me fishing, cycling, or even played badminton with me. always was my mum instead. well, the first time he tried to spend quality time with me... he robbed me of my precious time on saturday morning... called my grandpa, grandma, and my aunts.. but din call my cousins... then we went to pasir ris park and there I was.. jus rollerblading all around all by myself. nothing to do. damn... was damn bored... some quality time, huh?..... sheesh.
damn.. now he even restricts my net access.. caging me like a bird.. damn. i'm so damn pissed at him. Fine lor. you do this to me, you restrict net access like that, i'm just going to be all the more stringent in letting my brother use.. in letting YOUR FAVOURITE SON use.. damn... i'm so damn pissed...
My father never spent a single cent on my education. ok, perhaps unless you count school fees. But he never asked me if I needed tuition, never spent a cent at it even then. My mother sent me for tuition, worked through her sweat and blood, and SHE provided the $$ to send me for tuition. What did my dad do? squander his money on expensive HiFi and home theatre systems, worht more than a thousand bucks. and now what are these things doing at home now? rotting and collecting dust. damn. and he didn't even fork out a cent on my tuition. My mum was slogging 24/7, stopping only to do housework and have about 6 hours rest. sure, my dad's the main breadwinner of the house. But not a responsible one at that.
My mum secretly saved up a stash of 24k. I saw her bank book.. only had about that much. I thought my parents had a main acct with about three or four times that amount, and htats my mum's personal money. Little did I realise, that that 'main account' had all its money plunged into shares, and lost totally because of my father's greed. If he had been a little smarter and sold when it went up just a bit, being satisfied with five hundred bucks or so of profit, we would have been a whole lot richer now. but no. Now I realise that that 24k is all that we have. my mum is here worrying about how she's going to provide for her course at SIM (cuz she's taking a early childhood planner course there to upgrade her skills) and provide for my brother's and my education at the same tiem. poor mum.... and my dad's there, sitting with his belly, watching tv. damn. I hate my dad.
I swear. I swear on every single one of my one lives that i'll never...NEVER be like my dad. NEVER.
I hate my father... I hate him lots. I swear. I swear on every single one of the one lives I have that i'll never be like him. NEVER.
:Sunday, February 27, 2005:
well, couldn't post for the past few days.. anyway, here's the post to make up for it :P
Tzeheng and David... 
kenneth acting cool..
Aha! there's charlie!! ehhh... where are his three(or actually four) angels?... 
Walau.... is food all you think about?
sighs.. revelations is so siannn..... dance....dance lo.. in the end I sneaked out with Gowtham and we started talking there about poly n JC.. Xiao Jiji also sneaked out..hhaha...
Went with Mr Hee to YCS after revelations to coach my juniors in debate. Mr Hee apparently didn't go to school that day, so he was waiting at home till it was time to go over.. Thanks Mr Hee! its bcoz of him and me that they won :P
night time, went home.. dad was using my com to scan his portable hdd.. but it jammed there.. i reasoned out with him (bcoz if thats the case, i can't use my com till a month or so later...) but he refused to listen...
my dad sure is stubborn... not responding still wanna scan.. nth to say...
Thursday.....
Went late to YCS to help them with debate.... Then I went to class barbecue...At first i thought I was very late.. but later, I got there just as they were playing games...
xiao jiji!!! wearing pink!! haha..
leung yu!! this is table tennis, not haikido!!!
zhengji:wow.. the ball really flew far!
wow.. leung yu scared liao.. here comes benson the tabletennis expert!
I spent mosta the time there being the fire master.. haha.. the funnest part of the barbecue is often the fire watching...
bing ren was the cook.....
while Yijie was the marshmallow poacher.. haha
satay cooking... woooott!!! fire!! haaa!!! 
well, he does look a lil' pro at it...
sad... end of barbecue.. but where's that big cloud of steam everytime you pour water over the fire? :( no fun...
well, we raced for the last train, me, benson, henry, huixian and jenrene. We missed the last train at lakeside... but we managed to catch a taxi and got the last train at JE. Benson was supposed ta stop at gombak, but he qian bian, stayed with us until Yew tee.. then yew tee he saw the next train still 8 min, then he tried to get in the train until the next stop but the train doors closed hahaa...
hey! got a letter from lydia! hee... but couldn't u use the email instead? why bother with snail mail? anyway, it was rather elaborately done... I was reminded of quite some of my objectives from your letter. thanks for hte encouragement... I guess i'll miss ya and the rest of our funky class as we go to poly.. i'm seriously wondering whether or not to go to NP... SP has the double-diploma thing, but its so heung that I really wonder if I can keep up. NP is further, (more transport cost..) but they have the joint engineering prog. First year you do the same thing.. well, gotta come to a decision soon....
Well, friday... finally the debate. Mr Hee was supposed to play badminton iwth me in school in the morning, but he ended up in PJ.. damn... well, he was so qian bian.. he went to the math teacher and asked how to solve that problem from the JJ math tutorial. the math teacher said, "better get out of my sight before I report this to the principal."
Anyway, I played badminton with samuel and some other guys until it was time to go ot YCS. Did the final touching up and we went to unity sec for the debate.
rather nice architecture....
well, YCS won the debate.. but I felt really miserable inside. i felt a sense of satisfaction that they won...under our (mine and en hua's) tutelage.. but I still felt miserable..
Anyway... I guess that's it... today nothing much.. just going for YF later... haix.. will post again...