indescriptible misery
:Saturday, January 20, 2007:
all my dreams. hopes.. everything. just shattered just like this. one shot. it was only one shot. i lost by an 'x'. but suddenly everything was lost.
i lost not only a set of limbs. i lost the will to compete anymore. life seemed to lose it's entire meaning. i suddenly felt like just sitting in the middle of the spray of the rain. i just wanted everyone to disappear. leave me alone. could only wan a shy smile for a few people who tried to comfort me.
no of course. duh. i'm not all right. i've just lost everything i've fought for. worked for. bled for. Why is it i have to be the one bleeding every single cent for my bow? i'm not rich like hell. i make do without just about everything else. i make do without luxurious meals.. make do without fancy gadgets, handphones, what not... just so that i can get the equipment i need. the people who have everything from fancy gadgets to luxurious meals get the freebies too.
just because shit happens. just because my fingertab died at the wrong time... though i know it would benefit me the most... i don't get it at all. why do things have to be so screwed up like this?! all major opportunities.. i missed.
shit happens. i worked my guts out. trained my wits out. bled the cash out for the equipment. shit happens. defeated over the dumbest of reasons.
i need a holiday.
I still can't accept God's will.
whatever.
The reversehaven spoke at 11:33 PM
A God-given win
:Sunday, January 14, 2007:
Sembawang Archery Club Competition....
I managed to hit the gold medal once again. This is my second time in C-division, shooting 50m.
The competition was pretty poorly organised, resulting us in shooting waaayy later than the time they asked us to reach. They had only 8 boards and were thinking for each event would only take 1 hour O_O. Naturally, they delayed so bad that the open class shooters had to come back today(sunday) to shoot instead.
long story short, i still managed to hit the gold medal with a record score of 340/360, leading by 22 points. Before the competition, all factors were against me. everything seemed to be going wrong. My fingertab's three holes.... and there was the problem of seasoning my new fingerab.
Then there was the problem of my bow falling down.. the side stabiliser.. and finally i was shooting an untuned bow. My arrow rest also threatening to die out. Clearly, if this win wasn't given by God, I don't have any idea what could have.
Well, I won my $200... and then i have enough cash for my X-10s. The first part of my scheme to challenge the national archers....complete. The second but more difficult part... is this saturday. 48 perfect shots.
Can I make it?
The reversehaven spoke at 10:33 PM
