reversehaven

Deplorable...
:Wednesday, June 08, 2005:

Very deplorable I see things now. Many thigns disappoint me. First of all, we have a shepherd who suddenly wants to disown her sheep! Come on! does this certain shepherd(whom I would not name) think that it's her right to be a sheep of someone and her right to have her sheep to be a responsible person and stuff like that?

Sighs. Even our God would be so sad to hear this. Because we are his sheep, and he has, like a faithful shepherd, never abandoned us. And if you think this girl i'm talking about has a very obnoxious sheep? in the first place, we all, humans, are so obnoxious to God. So detestable, so hateful. All because of the sin in our bodies. All because of the sin that is in us. Do we, or can we therefore have the right to look down on people? or do we have the right to neglect our sheep&shepherd duties?

Well, if there is so little love nowadays... much less love there will be in service, if this is the case. More and more, I'm seeing people serving for the sake of serving, serving because their friends are serving, serving for their own glory, or worst still... the most deplorable of them all,... not serving at all. Much more would they rather go for their CCA and other activities than having fellowship with likeminded brethren. At this point in time.. I can't say anything more than "check your salvation." Because as a true christian, nothing would interest you more than fellowship with likeminded CHristian brethren.

Love in service is the most important. Without love, the service you have done is without substance. imagine if the kitchen aunties in church (like my own church) prepare refreshments or cook breakfast or meals for YF camp without love. Imagine they are doing it solely because their friends are doing it. Imagine if they're doing it for themselves. how bad the food will taste! or perhaps this is not a good example. If the camp committee does not plan camps in love. If they are in the camp committee solely because their friends are in there.. What will end up is that the games will be centered on giving themselves fun rather than the campers.

Sadly enough... more and more you see these activities (camps;; etc) becoming more meaningless.. WHY? because people are lacking in love. Lacking in the right mindset, of serving God because they love God, and since they love God, they love his people too. Some ultimately stop serving because they see people who serve for their own glory and are stumbled. Well, that should not be the case, because since you gave up your service, it's as though you served originally because those people were faithful. or worse still... your pride couldn't accept the fact that they are getting all the attention.

The reversehaven spoke at 1:51 PM

Badminton
::

Heehe.. i'm not THAT rusty after all. While ZQ attempted to snipe me, I kept catching him off guard with my drops.. to the point he got so frustrated he kept scooping the shuttle to me instead of bringing it back and serving it..lol..

Well, I'm better than Des in doubles, but Des is definitely better in singles. Because doubles, being able to smash is advantageous, Des can't smash as well as me, but he's excellent in dropping and clearing. But his servings are killers. Because every time, he serves and you either miss the ball or you are forced to give it right back to him which he will kill. Well, I wanna brush up on my badminton. But ah well, I feel good since ZQ's smash scared me when he was tellign me about it, but it wasn't taht scary after all. lol..

Sigh.. well, she didn't come. sigh.. I'm beginning to wonder if it's just me, or if she's avoiding me, cuz every time i organise thigns.. badminton, netball, capt's ball.. she's never given a positive reply before.

Sigh.. ok.. my posts are increasingly lacking in substance. i'm going to post a whoopper about what i'm thinking next.

Poly rox... my class too. Well, I just hope to be able to get the distinctions I need, get a merit, and get into U for my degree. I have to be in the top 5% for each module if I want to... sicne the quality of a distinction means getting top 5% in the level, for the module. Well, I guess I'll have to strive hard for it. AT least, i'm grateful I have friends who share my ambition and goals. I hope to be able to choose and team up with them, and go for it with them.

The reversehaven spoke at 1:33 PM

Naive.
:Sunday, June 05, 2005:

Naive.

My dad is being the most naive. He thinks he's being the perfect dad now. Little does he know how irritating he can get.

When I wanted, yearned, looked for, sought for fatherly love. How little I received of it. Many a tearful night I spent.. because I just couldn't feel any love from him. Now he thinks he's being the perfect dad by restricting my net access, by calling my friends evil, by stopping me from socialing with them at all costs. Naive.

I had no one to run to. I couldn't run to you. I could only run to my mum then. I didn't even have friends to run to. No. Now? Now I've got friends to run to. I've got mum to run to. I always yearned for a dad to run to. yuan lai... this is what having a father to run to actually means. Then I don't want it.

Everything he tells me now... assumes that i'm a three-year old kid. Assumes i'm still that ignorant, impressionable little child. not anymore, dad. I'm grown up. So much more I know, sometimes even more than you. And what?! you're trying to teach me things I already know? do you know how jarring to hte ear it can be if it's something I already know and yet is repeated many times?! When I would most appreciate father's love, he never gave it. Or at least, not sufficiently. When I would least appreciate it, he gave it in bulks. Whether in the right quality or not, that's another story.

Sheesh.

Well, I don't mean to be talking bad about my dad like that. I just.. need a letout. i feel pretty much better after typing this here.

The reversehaven spoke at 8:29 PM