The last shot
:Friday, December 15, 2006:
every shot counts. every shot determines the fine hair between victory and condemnation.
but it's always down to the last shot.
the most fatigued shot.
the most pressured shot.
you want to end it well. you want to end it with the arrow in the 'x'.
it's the hairline that tells the difference between you and your rival. the hairline that determines the colour of your medal.
My heart knows this very familiar feeling. the feeling when i'm about to enter battle.
all those hours of training. All those sweat and blood. Sleepless nights.
all boils down to the forty seconds.. .to that one shot.
The reversehaven spoke at 11:52 PM
I want out
:Thursday, December 14, 2006:
Just went to shop with en hua... shopping is such a pain. I had no choice but to spend that $110 worth of vouchers for the heerens before it expires. Hell that ended up like a pain...
the only shop in the entire place i thought worthy of looking at was adidas.and there again for the designs of shirts i liked they didn't have size for them. :(
they were friggin expensive.. that entire budget of $110 only managed to buy two shirts. :( I swear i'll never go back there ever again.
I HATE HIGH LIFE.
well, competition's coming. 90m ..... $200 cash prize..... gold medal..... 320/360 at 50m....
everything is getting to me. all in three competitions. All two weeks apart from each other.
sometimes i just wish i can will away all responsibilities.. take a nice break... holiday....
get the chance to do everything I want to. stay up as late as i like, wake up as early as i like...
i'm dreaming. not in this life.
The reversehaven spoke at 11:01 PM
well, i shot 90m once today. i'm kinda satisfied. It seems that i'm edging closer to the day i actually reach the SEA games.
sometimes in my life i just wonder.. what if God were to just step into my life and take this all away. would I surrender it all to him? i'm still in the struggling.. to surrender to God. How best to worship the God I love, and yet pursue the excellence in this sport I love too? Is there a necessary conflict between the two? sometimes I just wonder.
Well, anyway, on another note, i'm just kind of disappointed at today's youngsters. Like most of them I speak to have almost zero tolerance for details and technical explainations. Like no, they don't even bother listening to try and understand you. they'll just brush you aside and let their feelings do the job. huh. emo kids.
I don't know but somehow it's in me to just.......look down upon them. like when i try to impart some knowledge about archery.. there are some juniors (and seniors alike) who would just show a pure contempt and disregard about technicalities in this very technical sport. Yes, mind you, it's a very technical sport. Now i'm not surprised that after seeing this, we still have people who don't tune their plungers, don't align their limbs (and think they're skilled enough to compensate for it by their skill). and we all wonder why they haven't won any events in competition before even though each of them has equal potential to winning them.
but no. i'm really just disappointed at seeing in the local youth.. a pure contempt for intellectual discussion, ... ask them about DDR or RRD or dance dance revolutions or PPG or GGP... they know it all. but ask them about what year the first man stepped on the moon next moment you'll find them asleep in a pool of drool.
like heck.. none of those people i'm talking about are even interested in things like personal development! things like organisational management.. PR skills.. presentation skills.......
i'm sorry i'm choleric-melancholic type psychology. maybe it's just me.
no, i still look down on them.
let them lie asleep in that pool of droll. let's see that pool of drool nourish them for the rest of their pitiful lives.
The reversehaven spoke at 12:30 AM
:Tuesday, December 12, 2006:
Woke up really late. I mean REALLY late. like at noon. I skipped ED... yay. no more ED for the next four weeks. No ADMI either, so i went to school just on time to catch Mr Nah repeat his lesson again. Yeah i know it's good to repeat parts of your lesson here and there, people tend to absorb better this way, but NO.. he was like... repeating the ENTIRE lesson O_O.
sometiems i wonder what the hell i'm doing here... all my talents don't have much place to develop here. Yeah. they started here. I started archery here.. I started doing math at a higher level here.. but i'm at the point where i kinda hate my course, because we have to do so many other things, I just don't have the time to spend on archery and math.. the two things I love so much.
I need to get my budget management in order. I seem to be overspending and yet still undereating all the time. I have too many things to spend on. Archery automatically takes up 15-30% of my expenditure every month. at least 50% HAS to go to food (but somehow i'm still undereating. look ma, i'm losing weight :[ ) maybe i'll buy less drinks from now on... ARGH...
No. I hate my life. so many things just aren't going right. I used to be able to wake up at will. Now i'm a very dense sleeper who needs two alarm clocks ( okay my palmtop and phone) to wake me up. Haven't been very disciplined in doing tutorials. Okay though I managed to set some stuff right so far, like clearing up the vital areas of my room.... I'll need to set up a system to clear the unneccesary things in my room before they start accumulating. I set half my computer right so far, I cleared up about 20gb of it in terms of videos and games I downloaded. Just need to organise a system to clear trash before they accumulate.
Still sometimes I wish i were a bit well to do. At least I would have to worry about so many things. My bow wouln't have come at the price of blood. I literally bled myself dry over my bow. But that's the bare minimum for me... That is, if I ever dream to bring myself to the SEA games.
Sometimes in life you just wonder what the hell you're doing. Sometimes you end up hating what you're doing. Well, what can I say.. when the going gets tough, the tough start biting.
The reversehaven spoke at 10:47 PM
Now now, i thought the new james bond movie would at least bost better picture quality than the previous ones. Pass. they failed completely. hmm. i'd think those sean connery ones might just compare to them.
Hmm.. then we'd all think the new james bond(whatever his name is) would be hotter than the old ones. Pass. pierce and sean beat him hands down.
the 'tech gadgets' featured were really badly introduced, and weren't in the least impressive..
pass. the plot was the worst. I spent two hours staying up awake watching this.... slobbering plot develop from some dumb gun game into some dumb free running stunt...into a HK gambling king movie and finally into some............ porn movie. That is, if you consider sado-masochism as porn............
huh.. couldn't follow the plot. it was pretty much touch-and-go kind. Something like the the da vinci code style touch and go. one or two main characters, the rest are passing characters. no real character development apart from the main ones. but while the da vinci code boasted some real GK stuff... this bond movie has nothing to offer. it's like about this guy who funds terrorists.. and he gambles in order to do so... but he lost the gamble to our dear james bond.... and ended up having to capture him to bleed him of the funds O_O.............
i'm...... ...... ...... ....... ......... disappointed. where's pierce brosnan when we need him?
The reversehaven spoke at 2:18 AM
:Sunday, December 10, 2006:
Hmm. i think i have cleaned up most of my computer. Kinda satisfied with it. At the very least, i've burned the videos and anime into archives on my DVDs... so i can free up the space. now all that's left is to run scans and cleanups overnight to speed up my com..
still in a pretty bad mood today. wasn't exactly in the mood for talking or anything. sometimes i just wish i don't get affected by these BGR feelings. Though somehow, it's true that these feelings effectively shut off everything else when i'm training. or competing.
competition's coming soon. On the 17th.It's my first time shooting C-class, though i hope i will shoot at my peak on that day itself.
I seriously need a break. i'm just feeling too tired to do anything academic. I wish my brain would function, but it normally switches off after an hour or two of lessons.. and refuses to take in information.=X i'll still have to wait for a week....
The reversehaven spoke at 7:38 PM