reversehaven

Deep in thought
:Wednesday, August 03, 2005:

Just watched saving private ryan. Really had some deep thought after this. Started wondering IF I were caught in the field of battle, the kind of feeling I will have then.

I used to think of myself capable of withstanding the mental pressure. I used to think of myself mentally and physically resilient. After seeing the scenes of people's guts blown off, after seeing the scenes where death has such a high probability, I begin to wonder.

Well, I started thinking. of death. I used to think of myself fearless, fearless of even death. Then I wonder, in the face of death, what will I actually be like. There was this german machine gunner who, when in the hands of our protagonists, kept screaming out everything and anything in english he could think of. "f*** hitler!", blah blah blah. He even sang (I believe the american national anthem). Desperate, for life. Started me thinking.

But most of all, what I started thinking of... In the face of death, persecuted by the antichrist... will I relent? These people here died for their republic. Died under orders. Died for what they believed in. Me? will I die for what I believe in? will I hold on to the faith, cling on to the cross, unafraid of death?

well, these men died for what they believed in. Died to defend the republic. Christ. what did Christ die for? wretched sinners like me. I felt so wretched, so sinful, so dirty, just like the clothes the soldiers wore. and yet Christ died for me. Deep in thought...

Anyway, i've just got my 1gb SD card. having so much fun dumping my music and vids into it. I copied my entire palm memory over, leaving only the essential applications in the palm itself. cool. and after all that dumping.. i still have 190mb left HAHA!

Well, another thing to be happy about.. I've improved my crossbow accuraccy such that it's able to hit a target 3cm radius at about 5m. I loaded a laser pointer to it to verify it.haha. But now I have another problem. I have to find a way to reinforce the main bow. If I manage to fidn a way to do that, I can put stronger bowstrings to the bow, and then i'll have even grater range.

Hmm. another joy.. I got good results for like... everything? but on top of that, my oral communications teacher will speak to the person in charge of the debating team.. and what's best? I MAY get to join it. HAHAAH!! okay. it's like.. half a dream come true? ahhaa..!!

i'm probably going to join SPARC and emceeing too.hehe.

The reversehaven spoke at 10:46 PM